Give them enough rope to hang themselves, and watch what they do with the rope.

This might sound harsh, but when navigating a patriarchal world that often conditions men to leverage and use women in business, it’s a survival strategy that’s necessary. It’s not about manipulation or trickery—this is about ensuring your own safety, protecting your energy, and making sure you don’t fall prey to the insidious tactics that some men have been conditioned to use.

While you don’t want to treat men like the enemy in business, the most dangerous thing you can do as a woman in business is assume good character in anyone you work with, but particularly men.

Patriarchy and the Business Landscape: An Unequal Playing Field

Patriarchy is not just a social structure; it seeps into every facet of our lives, including the business world. From boardrooms to client meetings, many men have been subconsciously taught to view women as tools to be used, rather than partners to be respected. This isn’t just a theory—it’s a reality that many women in business face every day.

The tactics can vary, but they often include:

• Love Bombing: Overwhelming attention and flattery used to manipulate and control.
• Undermining: Subtle put-downs and doubts planted to erode your confidence.
• Leverage: Using your kindness, flexibility, or empathy against you to gain an advantage.
• Gaslighting: Manipulating someone into doubting their own reality or perception, often to maintain control or avoid accountability.
• Credit Stealing: Taking credit for someone else’s work or ideas, often downplaying the original contributor’s role.
• Exclusion: Deliberately leaving someone out of important meetings, decisions, or conversations to maintain control and power.
• The Savior Complex: Positioning themselves as the “hero” who comes to your rescue, often in situations where you don’t need saving, to create a sense of dependency.
• Playing the Victim: When confronted with their behavior, they position themselves as the victim to deflect blame and manipulate the situation in their favor.

These strategies are often subtle, making them hard to spot until the damage is done. This is why it’s crucial to be wise enough to recognize these red flags early and take steps to protect yourself.

Testing Integrity: A Crucial Self-Protection Strategy

It’s not about playing games or being manipulative—it’s about standing in your power and safeguarding your well-being. Give them enough rope to hang themselves. What does this mean in practice? It means observing how someone behaves when given a little freedom. Do they respect boundaries, or do they push them? Do they act with integrity, or do they reveal a lack of character when they think no one is watching?

Here’s how you can subtly test integrity in a business setting:

• Set Clear Boundaries: Be explicit about your limits, whether it’s time, money, or respect. Watch how they respond—do they respect these boundaries, or do they try to push past them?
• Pay Attention to Small Actions: Often, it’s the small things that reveal true character. How do they treat those with less power? How do they react when they don’t get what they want immediately?
• Trust Your Intuition: If something feels off, it probably is. Your intuition is a powerful tool—don’t ignore it.
• Observe How They Handle Conflicts or Disagreements: Pay attention to how they respond when there’s a disagreement or conflict. Do they remain calm and seek a fair resolution, or do they become defensive, dismissive, or aggressive? A person with integrity will approach conflicts with a mindset of finding a solution that respects all parties involved, rather than trying to “win” at any cost.
• Test Their Follow-Through on Small Promises: Notice if they follow through on small commitments, such as sending an email they promised, showing up on time for meetings, or providing feedback when they said they would. These seemingly minor actions often reflect their overall reliability and integrity.

Overcoming the Trap of Love Bombing

Love bombing is particularly dangerous because it can be so flattering, especially in a business world that often undervalues women. But be wary—love bombing is often the prelude to control. It’s not about genuine respect or admiration; it’s about creating dependency.

If you find yourself being excessively flattered or showered with attention, take a step back. Ask yourself, “What is this person’s true intention? What are they trying to achieve?” If the answers make you uncomfortable, it’s time to reassess the relationship.

…But remember, the key here is to be brutally honest with YOURSELF. Are you affording them more credit than they deserve?

Standing Your Ground: Empowerment in Action

Standing your ground in business isn’t just about recognizing these tactics—it’s about refusing to play into them. It’s about knowing your worth and demanding respect, no matter who you’re dealing with.

Here’s how you can stand your ground:

• Say No Without Guilt: You are not obligated to please everyone. Saying no is a powerful act of self-respect.
• Hold Firm to Your Values: Don’t compromise your values for the sake of a deal or relationship. Your integrity is worth more than any business transaction.
• Walk Away When Necessary: Sometimes, the best way to stand your ground is to walk away from a situation that doesn’t serve you. It’s not a sign of weakness—it’s a demonstration of your strength and self-worth.

Embrace Your Power, Protect Your Peace

Patriarchy has conditioned many men to leverage and use women in business, but you don’t have to be a victim of this conditioning. By being wise, setting boundaries, and standing your ground, you can protect your peace and thrive in any business environment.

Remember, giving them enough rope to hang themselves isn’t about manipulation—it’s about ensuring that those you work with are deserving of your time, energy, and trust. Trust in yourself, honor your intuition, and never be afraid to stand in your power.